Learn German

My first professional phone call in Germany was a disaster.I picked up and said, in my brightest yak voice:„Ja?“ Silence. Then a very serious man replied:„Äh… Spreche ich mit Herrn… Yak?“ Apparently, in professional German life you don’t answer the phone like a teenager who just woke up. There’s a whole mini-system of greetings, phrases, […]

My first German house party felt like a linguistic obstacle course.Someone shouted „Ich bin schon angeschossen!“, another said „Komm, wir hauen einen raus!“, and a third person told me to „mach mal locker“ while handing me a drink the size of a bathtub. I nodded, smiled, and prayed none of these expressions meant “we’re about

My first German fish-market experience was chaotic.I pointed at a gorgeous fillet and proudly asked for „200 Gramm Lachs /laks/“… except I accidentally said „200 Gramm Wachs“ (wax).The fishmonger blinked slowly. I blinked slowly. A very confused yak walked home with zero fish and a bruised ego. Let’s make sure you can order fish, talk

My first German email was a masterpiece of confusion.I began with „Hallo Frau Doktor Müller!!!“, added three emojis, and ended with „Bis dann :)“.Five minutes later, she replied with a message so formal it could have worn a tuxedo.That’s when I learned: emails in German live on a spectrum—from warm and friendly to “I have

When I first tried learning German, my neighbors cheerfully told me,„Ach, Deutsch ist gar nicht so schwer!“ Then they added,„Aber Spanisch, Französisch, Englisch… die sind ja alle ganz einfach.“ I nodded politely while thinking: If German is the easy one, what terrifying languages do you struggle with? It turns out German speakers have their own

My German teacher once told me, very kindly, that my sentences sounded like “a yak throwing snowballs.”Short. Choppy. Confused. I’d say things like:„Ich habe Hunger. Ich gehe essen. Es regnet. Ich… äh… trotzdem?“ German listeners were supportive, but I could see them mentally glue-gunning my sentences together.Once you learn Verbindungswörter /fɛɐ̯ˈbɪndʊŋsˌvœʁtɐ/—linking words—your German becomes smoother,

When I first arrived in Germany, I confidently told a bakery lady that I’d moved there in „Jänner“.She stared. I stared.Turns out Jänner is Austrian. In Germany, it’s „Januar“ /ˈjaːnu̯aʁ/—and I had just revealed myself as a confused foreign yak before I’d even ordered a pretzel. The good news? German months are wonderfully straightforward, super

My first German joke was a disaster. I proudly told my friend: „Was macht ein Pirat am Computer? Er drückt die Enter-Taste.“ Silence. Coffee sip. Long stare. Then he said, very gently: „Das ist nett. Aber der Witz ist auf Deutsch eigentlich mit Enter und Enterhaken. Versuch’s nochmal, Yak.“ So I went back, learned a

My first German roommate once said to me, „Jetzt hast du den Salat.“ /jɛtst hast duː deːn zaˈlaːt/.I looked around the kitchen. No salad. Not even a lonely lettuce leaf. Turns out he meant “Now you’ve got a mess”—not a bowl of vegetables.That was the day I discovered German idioms: colorful, dramatic, slightly chaotic, and

My first “serious” German job was in an office where everyone spoke very fast and used words I had never seen in any textbook. My vocabulary was: Their vocabulary was: One day my boss said:« Wir verschieben die Besprechung, der Kunde hat das Angebot noch nicht bestätigt. » We’re postponing the meeting, the client hasn’t