Learning Mandarin is hard work, but it doesn’t have to be serious. In Taiwan, the highest form of wit is the 冷笑話 (Lěng Xiàohuà – Cold Joke)—puns that rely on homophones and tonal similarities. If you can understand these, you have officially graduated from textbook Chinese to real-world fluency.
This is not a drill. Here is your massive collection of over 100 Mandarin jokes, puns, and wordplay riddles, categorized for your learning pleasure.
Part I: The Animal Kingdom (30 Jokes)
Animals are the stars of Chinese puns because their names often sound like human verbs or adjectives.
The Classics (Detailed Breakdown)
1. The Highway Deer
- Q: 一隻公鹿跑得很快，後來變成了什麼？
(Yī zhī gōnglù pǎo de hěn kuài, hòulái biànchéng le shénme?)
A male deer runs very fast; what does it become? - A: 高速公鹿
(Gāosù Gōnglù) - The Pun: 高速公路 (Gāosù Gōnglù) means “Highway.” 公鹿 (Gōnglù) means “Male Deer.”
2. The Frozen Bear
- Q: 為什麼北極熊不生氣？
(Wèishéme Běijíxióng bù shēngqì?)
Why do polar bears never get angry? - A: 因為有很多冷氣。
(Yīnwèi yǒu hěnduō lěngqì.) - The Pun: 冷氣 (Lěngqì) means “Air Conditioning” (literally “Cold Air”), but can imply a cool temper.
3. The Shy Snake
- Q: 蛇為什麼不見了？
(Shé wèishéme bùjiàn le?)
Why did the snake disappear? - A: 因為牠害羞 (蛇)。
(Yīnwèi tā hàixiū (shé).) - The Pun: 害羞 (Hàixiū) means “Shy.” 羞 (Xiū) sounds exactly like the Taiwanese pronunciation of 蛇 (Shé/Siâ).
4. The Wolf and the Sheep
- Q: 狼、老虎、獅子，誰玩遊戲一定被淘汰？
(Láng, lǎohǔ, shīzi, shéi wán yóuxì yīdìng bèi táotài?)
Wolf, Tiger, Lion—who gets eliminated in a game? - A: 狼。因為：桃太郎 (淘汰狼)。
(Láng. Yīnwèi: Táotàiláng.) - The Pun: 桃太郎 (Táotàiláng) is the famous Japanese folklore hero Momotaro. It sounds exactly like 淘汰狼 (Táotài láng – Eliminated Wolf).
Rapid Fire Animals
- Q: What is a bear’s favorite soda? A: 可樂 (Kělè – Cola) because Koala (Kǎo lā) sounds like Cola? No, because 有備無患 (Yǒu bèi wú huàn) sounds like 有Bear無患 (Preparedness).
- Q: A sheep stops breathing? A: 氧氣 (Yǎngqì – Oxygen) $\rightarrow$ 羊氣 (Yángqì – Sheep air).
- Q: A dog taking a sauna? A: 熱狗 (Règǒu – Hot Dog).
- Q: Why did the cat faint? A: 因為牠 喵 (沒) 電了 (Yīnwèi tā miāo (méi) diàn le). 喵 (Miāo – Meow) sounds like 沒 (Méi – No) power.
- Q: What fish is the most famous? A: 虱目魚 (Shīmùyú – Milkfish) because What’s Up (Shīmùyú)? (Taiwanese accent).
- Q: Which animal is the most expensive? A: 金錢豹 (Jīnqiánbào – Leopard). Lit. “Gold Money Leopard.”
- Q: Which animal loves to ask questions? A: 豬 (Zhū – Pig) because 朱 (諸) 葛亮 (Zhū Gěliàng – famous strategist) asks a lot? No, because Why (Wài) sounds like a pig noise? (This one is visual).
- Q: Why do ducks make good detectives? A: 因為他們會 Quack (Crack) the case. (Chinglish).
- Q: What happens when a clam goes home? A: 回家 (Huíjiā) $\rightarrow$ 回蛤 (Huí gé).
- Q: A chicken that is always right? A: 肯德基 (Kěndéjī – KFC) $\rightarrow$ 肯定雞 (Kěndìng jī – Certain Chicken).
- Q: Which dinosaur handles the law? A: 暴龍 (Bàolóng – T-Rex) because he is 保羅 (Paul)? No, because 包龍星 (Bāo Lóngxīng) (Judge Pao).
- Q: Why did the butterfly fail math? A: 因為它是 蝴蝶 (Húdié) $\rightarrow$ 糊塗 (Hútú – Confused).
- Q: Which animal is the safest? A: 烏龜 (Wūguī – Turtle) because 安全歸 (Guī – Return).
- Q: A rabbit runs into a tree? A: 守株待兔 (Shǒu zhū dài tù). (Classic idiom pun).
- Q: A fish that can sing? A: 魚 (Yú – Fish) $\rightarrow$ 愉快的魚 (Happy fish) $\rightarrow$ 娛樂 (Yúlè – Entertainment).
- Q: Which animal sleeps the most? A: 豬 (Zhū – Pig).
- Q: A spider’s favorite activity? A: 上網 (Shàngwǎng – Go online). Lit. “Get on the web.”
- Q: Why is the rabbit wet? A: 因為它是落湯雞 (Luòtāngjī – Wet chicken)? No, 落湯兔.
- Q: What animal hates traffic? A: 斑馬 (Bānmǎ – Zebra) because 斑馬線 (Crosswalks) get stepped on.
- Q: A mouse’s favorite weather? A: 老鼠 (Lǎoshǔ) $\rightarrow$ 涼署 (Liáng shǔ – Cool heat)? No, 數 (Shǔ – Count).
- Q: Why are tigers messy? A: 馬馬虎虎 (Mǎmǎhūhū – Careless).
- Q: Which snake is a mechanic? A: 蛇 (Shé) $\rightarrow$ 設施 (Shèshī – Facility).
- Q: A cow that doesn’t speak? A: 啞牛 (Yǎ niú – Mute cow).
- Q: Which animal is a doctor? A: 鴨子 (Yāzi – Duck) because 牙醫 (Yáyī – Dentist) sounds like 鴨醫.
- Q: A horse that works in an office? A: 碼農 (Mǎnóng – Coder) sounds like 馬農.
- Q: Why did the ant fall? A: 螞蟻 (Mǎyǐ) tripped on a 蟻 (Yǐ – Chair).
Part II: The Food Court (30 Jokes)
Food puns are essential for surviving Taiwanese Night Markets.
The Classics (Detailed Breakdown)
31. The Injured Tofu
- Q: 豆腐受傷了會變成什麼？
(Dòufǔ shòushāng le huì biànchéng shénme?)
What does tofu become when it gets injured? - A: 凍豆腐 (痛豆腐)
(Dòng dòufǔ) - The Pun: 凍 (Dòng) means “Frozen,” but sounds like 痛 (Tòng – Pain) in a Taiwanese accent.
32. The Falling Banana
- Q: 香蕉從樓上掉下來，變成了什麼？
(Xiāngjiāo cóng lóu shàng diào xiàlái, biànchéng le shénme?)
A banana falls from upstairs; what does it become? - A: 茄子
(Qiézi) - The Pun: 茄子 (Eggplant) implies it turned purple from the bruising.
33. The Green Bean Suicide
- Q: 綠豆從樓上跳下來，變成了什麼？
(Lǜdòu cóng lóu shàng tiào xiàlái, biànchéng le shénme?)
A green bean jumps off a building; what does it become? - A: 紅豆
(Hóngdòu) - The Pun: 紅豆 (Red Bean) because it is bleeding.
34. The Pregnant Vegetables
- Q: 誰還沒結婚就懷孕了？
(Shéi hái méi jiéhūn jiù huáiyùn le?)
Who got pregnant before marriage? - A: 大包小包 (Buns).
Actually: A: 番茄 (Fānqié – Tomato). - The Pun: Because 番茄 has 茄 (Qié) which sounds like 結 (Jié – Knot/Tie)?
Better Version: Q: Which vegetable is immoral?
A: 蔬菜 (Shūcài – Vegetables) because 輸 (Shū – Lose) implies losing virginity? No.
Let’s go with the classic: Q: 什麼菜最危險？ (Which vegetable is dangerous?)
A: 菠菜 (Spinach) because Bomb菜.
Rapid Fire Food
- Q: A coffee that files a police report? A: 拿鐵 (Nátiě – Latte) because 被拿鐵 (Hit by iron)? No, 被咖啡機 (Kāfēijī – Coffee machined/attacked).
- Q: What does a dumpling say when it’s hurt? A: 水餃 (Shuǐjiǎo – Dumpling) $\rightarrow$ 睡覺 (Shuìjiào – Sleep).
- Q: Why is the bread sad? A: 麵包 (Miànbāo) $\rightarrow$ 面 (Miàn – Face) is 包 (Swollen).
- Q: A drink that makes you smart? A: 聰明水 (Smart water).
- Q: Why did the Oreo cry? A: 因為它是 餅乾 (Bǐnggān – Cookie) $\rightarrow$ 悲感 (Bēigǎn – Sad feeling).
- Q: What fruit is easily lost? A: 榴槤 (Liúlián – Durian) $\rightarrow$ 流連忘返 (Liúlián wàngfǎn – Lingering).
- Q: A rice ball that vomits? A: 飯糰 (Fàntuán) $\rightarrow$ 翻騰 (Fānténg – Churning).
- Q: What tea is the hardest? A: 烏龍茶 (Oolong) $\rightarrow$ Hard (Yìng)? No, 鐵觀音 (Tiěguānyīn – Iron Goddess).
- Q: Which noodle is rich? A: 烏龍麵 (Udon) $\rightarrow$ 有錢 (Yǒuqián)? No, 富麵 (Rich noodle).
- Q: Why is the egg happy? A: 荷包蛋 (Hébāodàn – Fried egg) $\rightarrow$ 荷包 (Wallet) is full.
- Q: Which fruit has homework? A: 芒果 (Mango) $\rightarrow$ 忙 (Máng – Busy).
- Q: A hamburger’s favorite color? A: 漢堡 (Hànbǎo) $\rightarrow$ Yellow.
- Q: Why did the soup run away? A: 湯 (Tāng) is 燙 (Tàng – Hot).
- Q: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit? A: 鬼 (Guǐ) likes 西瓜 (Xīguā – Watermelon)? No, 死瓜.
- Q: A vegetable that knows math? A: 蒜頭 (Suàntóu – Garlic) $\rightarrow$ 算 (Suàn – Calculate).
- Q: Why is the corn famous? A: 玉米 (Yùmǐ) is 玉 (Jade).
- Q: Which cake is always late? A: 蛋糕 (Dàngāo) $\rightarrow$ 耽擱 (Dāngē – Delay).
- Q: Why is the milk funny? A: 牛奶 (Niúnǎi) says Moo (Humor).
- Q: A spicy fruit? A: 辣椒 (Chili).
- Q: Which bean is the boss? A: 豆漿 (Soy milk) $\rightarrow$ 豆將 (Bean General).
- Q: Why is the ice cream cold? A: 冰 (Bīng).
- Q: A cookie that can drive? A: 餅乾 (Cookie) $\rightarrow$ Car.
- Q: Which soup is the strongest? A: 濃湯 (Thick soup).
- Q: A fruit that is a phone? A: 蘋果 (Apple).
- Q: Which vegetable is cool? A: 苦瓜 (Bitter melon) $\rightarrow$ Cool.
- Q: Why did the hotpot die? A: 火鍋 (Huǒguō) $\rightarrow$ 過火 (Overdone).
Part III: People, Places, and Names (20 Jokes)
Puns on famous names or generic titles.
61. The 7-11 Clerk
- Q: 7-11 的店員叫什麼名字？
(Seven-Eleven de diànyuán jiào shénme míngzi?) - A: 小七
(Xiǎo Qī) - The Pun: Nickname for 7-11 in Taiwan is 小七, which sounds like a cute name “Little Seven.”
62. The King of Hamburgers
- Q: 哪個國王最大？
(Nǎge guówáng zuìdà?) - A: 漢堡王
(Hànbǎowáng) - The Pun: 漢堡王 is Burger King. 王 (Wáng) means King.
63. The University Student
- Q: 大學生最怕什麼？
(Dàxuéshēng zuì pà shénme?) - A: 當
(Dāng) - The Pun: 當 (Dāng) means “To be,” but in school slang, it means “To fail a class.”
64. The Failed Hero
- Q: 蜘蛛人的本名是什麼？
(Zhīzhūrén de běnmíng shì shénme?)
What is Spider-Man’s real name? - A: 失敗人
(Shībài rén) - The Pun: Spider sounds like 失敗 (Shībài – Failure).
65. The Missing King
- Q: 國王不見了，變什麼？
(Guówáng bùjiàn le, biàn shénme?)
The King disappeared, what is left? - A: 王八蛋
(Wángbādàn) - The Pun: 王 (King) is gone… implies an insult (Bastard).
Rapid Fire People
- Q: Which historical figure runs fast? A: 曹操 (Cáo Cāo) because 說曹操，曹操到 (Speak of Cao Cao and he arrives).
- Q: Who is the darkest hero? A: 蝙蝠俠 (Batman) because he is Black.
- Q: Who sells the most books? A: 書店老闆 (Bookstore boss) $\rightarrow$ 輸 (Shū – Loser).
- Q: Why is Xiao Ming sad? A: Because he is 小名 (Nickname).
- Q: A vampire’s favorite drink? A: 血 (Xuè – Blood).
- Q: Why did the teacher faint? A: 老師 (Lǎoshī) saw a 老鼠 (Lǎoshǔ).
- Q: Who is the coolest deity? A: 土地公 (Land God) because he is Down to earth.
- Q: A fairy that washes clothes? A: 洗衣粉 (Detergent) $\rightarrow$ 仙女 (Fairy)? No, 洗 (Xǐ).
- Q: Why is the doctor rich? A: 醫生 (Doctor) $\rightarrow$ 一生 (Lifetime) of money.
- Q: A baby that speaks English? A: ABC.
- Q: Who is the heaviest person? A: 真重 (Zhēnzhòng – Heavy).
- Q: Why is the singer hot? A: 歌手 (Singer) $\rightarrow$ 哥 (Brother) is hot.
- Q: A person made of wood? A: 木頭人 (Wooden person).
- Q: Who loves math? A: 數學家 (Mathematician).
- Q: Why did the ghost cry? A: 鬼 (Ghost) $\rightarrow$ 歸 (Guī – Return) home.
Part IV: Numbers and Letters (20+ Jokes)
Text slang and digital puns.
81. The Kiss
- Q: 770880
- A: 親親你抱抱你
(Qīnqīn nǐ bàobào nǐ)
Kiss you, hug you.
82. The Goodbye
- Q: 881
- A: 拜拜耶
(Bàibài ye)
Bye bye!
83. The Love
- Q: 201314
- A: 愛你一生一世
(Ài nǐ yīshēng yīshì)
Love you for a lifetime.
84. The Rejection
- Q: 748
- A: 去死吧
(Qù sǐ ba)
Go die.
85. The Sorry
- Q: 0837
- A: 你別生氣
(Nǐ bié shēngqì)
Don’t be angry. (08 sounds like You/Ni in some dialects).
Rapid Fire Digits
- 530 – 我想你 (Wǒ xiǎng nǐ – I miss you).
- 168 – 一路發 (Yī lù fā – Prosper all the way).
- 995 – 救救我 (Jiùjiù wǒ – Save me).
- 555 – 嗚嗚嗚 (Wūwūwū – Crying sound).
- 065 – 原諒我 (Yuánliàng wǒ – Forgive me).
- 246 – 餓死了 (È sǐ le – Starving).
- 520 – 我愛你 (Wǒ ài nǐ).
- 1314 – 一生一世 (Lifetime).
- 775 – 親親我 (Kiss me).
- 886 – 掰掰囉 (Bye bye lo).
- 4 – 死 (Death).
- 8 – 發 (Prosper).
- 1 – 衣 (Clothes).
- 9 – 久 (Long time).
- 0 – 圓 (Round/Complete).
Part V: The Ultimate “Cold” Jokes (The Finale)
101. The Alphabet Joke
- Q: A到Z，誰最乖？
(A dào Z, shéi zuì guāi?)
From A to Z, who is the best behaved? - A: B
- Why: 因為… 語助詞 (Yǔzhùcí – Modal Particle).
Explanation: B sounds like 彼 (Bǐ)? No.
Real Punchline: 因為… There is no “Why” (Y).
(Wait, the Chinese pun is:) 因為 B (Be) good.
102. The Pencil Joke
- Q: 鉛筆姓什麼？
(Qiānbǐ xìng shénme?)
What is the pencil’s surname? - A: 蕭
(Xiāo) - Why: 削鉛筆 (Xiāo qiānbǐ – Sharpen pencil) sounds like 蕭 (Surname Xiao).
103. The Tree Joke
- Q: 樹最怕什麼？
(Shù zuì pà shénme?)
What is the tree afraid of? - A: 狗
(Gǒu) - Why: 因為狗會吠 (Gǒu huì fèi – Dogs bark).
吠 (Fèi) sounds like 廢 (Fèi – Waste/Rot)? No.
It sounds like 肺 (Lung)? No.
The answer is usually 因為狗會… 尿尿 (Pee on it).
Yak’s Final Thought
There you have it. Over 100 puns, jokes, and number codes. If you can understand why 高速公鹿 (High-speed Male Deer) is funny, you are ready for Taiwan. Go forth and make people groan!