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Lesson 180 of 240

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It's not your fault in English

Ana still thinks about the wrong train on the Milwaukee trip. She tells herself she caused the delay.

Tasha comes to the second-floor apartment on Larch Street and stays until Ana feels okay.

You will learn six lines that comfort a person who is hard on themselves.

You tell them it is not their fault. You listen. You do not try to fix everything.

By the end of this lesson

Comfort someone who feels guilty and tell them it is not their fault.

  • It's not your fault.You did not cause this problem.
  • I'm listening.You can talk now. I will hear you.
  • I wish I could make it easier.I want to take some of this difficulty away, but I cannot.
  • Don't blame yourself.Do not say this happened because of you.
  • Anyone would feel that way.Most people would have the same feeling.
  • There's nothing you could have done.You had no way to stop this.

Scene — two mugs on the table

Ana sits on the couch in her small second-floor apartment. Tasha has her green jacket off and sits close, with two mugs on the table.

Ana keeps going back to the wrong train. Tasha does not rush her. The jukebox is across the street at the diner, quiet for now.

Ana and Tasha sit close together on the couch with two mugs on the table.

Learn — comfort a friend

Six lines help you comfort a friend who feels guilty.

You will say it is not their fault, listen, and tell them most people would feel the same.

  1. Tasha offers Ana a calm, open-palmed gesture as Ana looks toward the table.

    It's not your fault.

    You did not cause this problem.

    When to use it: Say this when a friend thinks they caused a hard thing.

    Learn It's not as one piece, a contraction plus not.

    Say it: The stress is on fault.

  2. Ana looks down toward her mug, absorbed in thoughts about the train.

    I'm listening.

    You can talk now. I will hear you.

    When to use it: Say this when someone needs to talk and you will stay.

    The -ing form shows you are doing this right now.

  3. Tasha listens attentively to Ana without rushing her.

    I wish I could make it easier.

    I want to take some of this difficulty away, but I cannot.

    When to use it: Say this when you cannot fix the problem, but you care.

    I wish I could is for something you want but cannot do.

  4. Tasha gently turns toward Ana with a small reassuring hand gesture.

    Don't blame yourself.

    Do not say this happened because of you.

    When to use it: Say this when a person is too hard on themselves.

    Learn Don't blame yourself as one piece, with Don't as a contraction.

    Say it: Don't keeps a clear t sound.

  5. Two mugs and the women’s relaxed hands share the small table.

    Anyone would feel that way.

    Most people would have the same feeling.

    When to use it: Say this to show their feeling is normal, not strange.

    Would here talks about a usual feeling, not a past fact.

  6. Tasha looks steadily toward Ana as they sit together beside the mugs.

    There's nothing you could have done.

    You had no way to stop this.

    When to use it: Say this when the problem was already out of their hands.

    You will hear 'could've.' It is a common spoken form of 'could have.'

    Say it: Could have often sounds like could've.

Story — she stays

Watch Tasha sit with Ana after the Milwaukee trip. Ana still blames herself for the wrong train.

The highlighted words are the lines you just learned.

  1. Evening light on Larch Street. Two mugs sit on Ana's small table.
  2. TashaHey. You still thinking about that train?She asks if Ana is still upset about the train.
  3. AnaI think we took the wrong train. It was me.She believes they boarded the wrong train, and she takes the blame.
  4. TashaIt's not your fault.You did not cause this problem.
  5. Ana looks at her mug. She does not look up yet.
  6. AnaThey changed the platform at the last minute. I still think it was me.They changed the platform just before boarding, but she still takes the blame.
  7. TashaI'm listening.You can talk now. I will hear you.
  8. AnaWe still made it, but I keep going over it.They arrived anyway, but she cannot stop thinking about the mistake.
  9. TashaDon't blame yourself.Do not say this happened because of you.
  10. AnaI know. I still feel bad about it.She understands, but she still feels guilty.
  11. TashaAnyone would feel that way.Most people would have the same feeling.
  12. AnaThe trip didn't go as planned, and I keep blaming myself.The trip did not happen the way she wanted, and she still blames herself.
  13. TashaI wish I could make it easier.I want to take some of this difficulty away, but I cannot.
  14. AnaYou don't have to fix it. I just needed to say it.She does not need Tasha to solve it. She needed to talk.
  15. TashaThere's nothing you could have done.You had no way to stop this.
  16. Tasha pulls her chair a little closer and waits.
  17. AnaIt's okay. Thanks for staying.She says she is all right now, and she thanks Tasha.
  18. TashaI'm listening. I'll stay as long as you need.She will keep hearing Ana and will not leave yet.

Practice — fault or feeling

Eleven short exercises wait here. You will listen, pick, fill a gap, and build a line.

They stay small, so the round moves fast.

0 of 11 done

  1. What did you hear?

  2. Match the pairs

    English

    It's not your fault.Drop the Simple English here
    I'm listening.Drop the Simple English here
    Don't blame yourself.Drop the Simple English here
    Anyone would feel that way.Drop the Simple English here

    Simple English

    Drag a Simple English line onto its English, or tap one and then the other.

  3. What do you say?

    Your friend says the mix-up happened because of them. You want them to stop taking the blame.

  4. What does it mean?

    I'm listening.

  5. Fill the gap

    You had no way to stop this.

    There's ____ you could have done.

  6. Build the line

    I want to take some of this difficulty away, but I cannot.

    .

    Tap the words in order.

  7. Pick the reply

    Tasha says:

    Is it weird that I still feel this bad about a train?

    She asks if her sad feeling is strange.

    And you reply with:

  8. Swap the word

    A friend thinks they caused the delay. Tell them they did not.

    It's not ____ fault.

  9. True or false?

    This line means you are sure you boarded the right train.

  10. Which one doesn’t belong?

  11. Fill the gap

    The trip did not happen the way I wanted.

    The trip didn't go as ____.

Say it — say it back

Now you're Ana on the couch with Tasha. When it's your turn, tap the microphone and speak the line.

Tap play first if you want to hear the line. Your recording stays on your device.

  1. TashaI keep blaming myself for that train.She still thinks the wrong train was her fault.
  2. Ana (you)Tell her she did not cause the problem.

    It's not your fault.

    You did not cause this problem.

0 of 6 said

Recap — what you can say now

EnglishSimple English
It's not your fault.You did not cause this problem.
I'm listening.You can talk now. I will hear you.
I wish I could make it easier.I want to take some of this difficulty away, but I cannot.
Don't blame yourself.Do not say this happened because of you.
Anyone would feel that way.Most people would have the same feeling.
There's nothing you could have done.You had no way to stop this.
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Keep practicing with Yak Cards

Want to keep these comfort lines handy? Grab the Yak Cards for this lesson and review them anywhere.

A quick round with the Yak Cards each day keeps these lines ready when a friend feels low.

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